How To Help Your Prodigal Child Return

The Prodigal Son, this memorable story recounted by Jesus in Luke chapter 15 strikes a personal chord with many of us. Almost all of us know a "prodigal son." It could be a close friend, a close member of our family, a distant relative, a distant acquaintance, or perhaps we were, or are, one. Regardless of how we relate to this story the sorrow that we feel for the prodigal son is real. We mourn that one, who once was properly situated at home; or in the gospel as the story suggests, could decide to give up what they have going for them and leave. For one reason or another they “[taste] of the fruit…and [then] they [fall] away into forbidden paths” (1Nephi 8:28). They leave the tree and wander off down “strange roads” (1Nephi 8:32). Our heart, like the father's heart in the story, breaks when we realize that the prodigal son is leaving. We mourn for the loss. Then each of us hopes desperately that our prodigal son will return home, just like he did in the story. We yearn for that day and wish tremendously that that day will come sooner rather than later. What can we do to help return the prodigal son? Is there anything we can do? After studying this story and others like it in the scriptures I have found that there are two main things which we can do to help the return of our prodigal son.

In order to find what we can do we must study and compare the following stories: The Prodigal Son, Alma the Younger and Alma the Elder, Pharaoh, Saul’s conversion to Paul, Enos, Laman and Lemuel and perhaps a few more. By examining the stories of “prodigal son” figures in the scriptures we can find the common themes and in turn come to understand the two things that are within our power to do: pray with faith and make sure the prodigal son knows to whom he can turn.

First we must understand what it means exactly to “pray with faith.” It is a phrase we hear often enough in church but we must get past the simplicity of the statement and learn the doctrine behind it to understand the depth of this statement.

This turns us to the doctrine of prayer. Since this work is not focused on the doctrine of prayer, it will only be covered briefly, but sufficiently, to meet our current needs. When we pray we do three basic things. First we address our Heavenly Father, second we express the desires of our hearts, and third we close in the name of Jesus Christ. Since we are addressing our Heavenly Father we must remember and understand that we are not the ones who are actually addressing Him. We are praying in the name of Jesus, therefore it is Jesus who is praying on our behalf. Jesus is the only one worthy enough to talk with the Father and request blessings at His hand. We are not worthy to address the Father directly, but that’s alright because we never were, and that was never a prerequisite to pray to Him in the first place. It has always been through Jesus our Savior that we can and do pray to the Father. So, if we are praying in the name of Jesus, which is essentially saying that Jesus is praying for us, then we should only pray the way He would pray. We should ask for the things He would ask for, give thanks for the things He would be thankful for and so on.

It gives meaning to the Bible Dictionary definition of prayer which states “the object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them.” So there are blessings that are waiting for us, we just need to ask. How do we know what to ask for? Again we must remember that we are praying in the name of Jesus; meaning – ask for what He would ask for. We can know what He would ask for in three ways: 1) studying the scriptures to understand His character and the gospel plan (a good idea would be to study all the records we have of Him actually praying to the Father). 2) By commencing a prayer, stopping and asking ourselves the question, what would Jesus pray for me right now if He were here; what does He want for me now? 3) By praying to know what to pray for, and seeking the guidance of the Holy Ghost. We can use the gift of the Holy Ghost to bring things to our mind that we should pray for. Once we pray for the correct things and in turn are confident that that is what Jesus Himself would have prayed for, we can be certain that the Father will give what the Son has asked for.

This idea might give more practical meaning to the scriptures which teach us about prayer. “Yeah, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss” (2 Nephi 4:35). “[The] Spirit… teacheth a man to pray” (2 Nephi 32:8). “And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do” (John 14:13). “And whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given you” 3 Nephi 18:20). Reading Helaman 10:5 is also a good idea. So when we actually pray in the name of Christ, meaning pray how He would pray, then we can have certainty and confidence that the Father will give that gift. We must pray to the Father in the name of Christ, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

Now that we pray the right way we can begin to have faith in our prayers. Strong faith is more than wishful thinking, or simply hoping for something better. Faith is confidence that the promises of God will be fulfilled. Remember the children’s hymn 96 Faith which perhaps gives one of the best discourses on faith. Pay attention to how many times the word “knowing” appears:

Faith is knowing the sun will rise, lighting each new day.

Faith is knowing the Lord will hear my prayers each time I pray.

Faith is like a little seed: If planted, it will grow.

Faith is a swelling within my heart.

When I do right, I know.

Faith is knowing I lived with God before my mortal birth.

Faith is knowing I can return when my life ends on earth.

Faith is trust in God above; In Christ, who showed the way.

Faith is strengthened; I feel it grow whenever I obey.

Faith is this conviction, or knowledge, of things that are not seen but we know to be true. We can know that God is not a liar, and when He promises to bless then it is a sure promise. We can know that the Father will give all good things to Christ because Christ does not ask for anything contrary to the will of the Father. We can know the mind of Christ by studying His life and by praying by the Spirit. If this is how we pray, then we can be absolutely certain that we have prayed for a good thing and that God will give it to us. We can now have unshakable faith in the promise of the Father to us through Christ. In short, that is praying in faith.

So why is praying in faith so vital in returning the prodigal son? The story of Alma the younger gives us the answer. In Chapter 27 of Mosiah we learn that the members of the church are being persecuted and that some of the worst persecution comes from the sons of Mosiah and Alma the son of Alma. The words used to describe their actions are: “very wicked”, “idolatrous”, “flatter”, “iniquities”, “hinderment”, “stealing away the hearts”, “causing dissension”, “destroy the church of God”, “secretly”, “contrary”, and “rebelling” (8-11). This is to say that Alma the younger is a perfect example of one who is not only outside the church but against the church. But what happens to him? Does the Lord destroy him because he is such a wicked man? No, the Lord gives him a chance to repent as He does all His children. First we must know that the Lord wants all His children to be rooted in the gospel. This is a righteous desire that we can pray for because it is the will of God. He wants all his children, especially the wicked ones, to repent and be saved. But let us return to the story. The Lord sends an angel to come and stop the wicked work of Alma and the sons of Mosiah. Why? The angel’s words provide the answer. “Behold, the Lord hath heard the prayers of his people, and also the prayers of his servant, Alma, who is thy father; for he has prayed with much faith concerning thee that thou mightiest be brought to the knowledge of the truth; therefore, for this purpose have I come to convince thee of the power and authority of God, that the prayers of his servants might be answered according to their faith” (14; emphasis mine). So the angel came as a response to the prayers of Alma his father and also because of the prayers of the people. They prayed a righteous prayer that Alma the younger would be brought to the truth, and because they prayed with so much faith (because they knew that their prayers were the mind of Christ –that He also wanted Alma the younger to be in the church) they had a faith powerful enough that the Lord fulfilled His part and called Alma the younger to repentance. This is the first reason why we must pray with great faith, that our prayers might be answered according to our faith. This story also gives us something to pray for: that our prodigal son will be brought to the knowledge of the truth.

In this instance the Lord used an angel to convince Alma; and this is another essential part of understanding how the Lord works and what to pray for. Many of us can feel unattached to this story because an angel came to call repentance. “Oh sure that would be nice if the Lord sent an angel to my prodigal son, but that probably won’t happen, no matter how much faith I have.” This is partly correct. We can’t determine how the call to repentance will occur and it would be unwise to try and force God to send an angel. However, we are missing the point. I doubt Alma the elder prayed for an angel. In fact we don’t have any indication that he did. All we do know is that he had great desires that the Lord would help his son recognize the truth. Alma knew that the Lord knew the best way to approach Alma the younger. It is important that we understand how the Lord works when calling to repentance. He can use what I call “simple situations”.

Before I fully describe “simple situations” I want to touch on an important truth - that God does not send more “light” that we can handle. This is because the greater light we are exposed to, the greater our condemnation is if we choose to turn away. In the Lord’s mercy he doesn’t want to set us up for failure. He wants us to succeed and wants to keep our punishments to a minimum. That is why we have the veil, that is why we have prophets instead of angels, that is why Jesus taught in parables, and that is why we have scriptures that give subtle messages that can only be discerned by the Spirit when we are ready and prepared to receive them. Remember the important truth taught in the beginning of Alma 32 about humility and being compelled to be humble and why it is important that we have faith.

17. Yeah, there are many who do say

If thou wilt show unto us a sign

from heaven, then we shall know

of a surety; then we shall believe.

18. Now I ask, is this faith? Behold,

I say unto you, Nay; for if a man

knoweth a thing he hath no cause

to believe, for he knoweth it.

19. And now, how much more

cursed is he that knoweth the

will of God and doeth it not, than

he that only believeth, or only hath

cause to believe, and falleth into transgression?

Notice the difference in language. When one who knows the will of God he ‘doeth it not’, which implies that he is consciously rebelling against God. The man who believes ‘falleth into transgression’ which implies that he is stumbling, not rebelling. The punishment for willful rebellion is obviously greater than one who stumbles. While both are sinning, their punishments are at different levels according to the justice and mercy of God. With that being said, we must understand that God knows exactly how much light to give to someone, not too much and not too little. He knows perfectly what kind of “simple situation” they must be put in so that they will make the correct decision, since He will not force us to make the right decision.

“Simple situations” are found all throughout the scriptures and I will provide some examples here. Essentially, they are moments when an individual needs to make a choice to yield to the will and plan of God, which cannot be stopped, or face the alternative, which is usually painful and undesirable. Let us examine some of these situations. Since we were just discussing the story of Alma the younger let’s start there. Alma is confronted with an angel, whose voice shakes the earth and is displaying mighty power. The appearance is so magnificent that they fall to the earth. The angel’s message is clear: stop! They are now faced with a choice, to stop, or to not stop and keep going in the direction they previously chose. Alma the younger tells his son Helaman that the angel gave him two choices: “If thou wilt of thyself be destroyed, seek no more to destroy the church of God” (Alma 36:9). This is pretty simple, “Alma you can choose to stop now and nothing bad will happen to you, or you can keep trying to destroy the church of God and you will be destroyed by Him, the choice is yours, but as you can tell His power is great and you don’t stand a chance.” This might be what Alma thought he heard coming from the angel’s mouth. Given the simple choice of stopping or being destroyed, Alma made the right choice and decided to stop. That was his simple situation, and after he made his choice he continued in his choice for the rest of his life (something many of us struggle to do).

Pharaoh also found himself in a simple situation. The Lord, through Moses, demanded that the Israelites go free (remember that this miracle occurred in response to the prayers of the Israelites who prayed in faith that the Lord would deliver them; Exodus 2:23-25 and Exodus 3:7-10). However Pharaoh didn’t want to cooperate. The Lord sent plagues as we all remember. Plague after plague the intensity grew and the decision became more and more simple: let my people go or be destroyed. The Lord never took Pharaoh’s agency. Pharaoh, even with his hard heart, used his own agency to release the Israelites. The Lord merely made the importance of this choice clear to Pharaoh as his kingdom became threatened. This was Pharaoh’s simple situation. This is also a good example of one who made the correct choice when it was “simple,” but then did not continue in that choice and returned to his ways, thus suffering more wrath from God.

Saul, who persecuted the early Christians, also faced a simple choice. He saw the Savior, and the Savior convinced him that it would be better to change religions than to fight against God and “kick against the pricks” (Acts 9:3-6). The sons of Mosiah had the same simple situation that Alma the younger did. Jonah was called to preach repentance to Nineveh and chose to run away instead. The Lord gave him a simple situation by causing a storm to come against him as he tried to flee, then was swallowed by a big fish. The Lord didn’t force Jonah to preach repentance, but He did get the point across to Jonah that wherever he went the Lord would find him and stop him from running. He can either play this game of hide and seek, and lose every time, or he can go preach to Nineveh. Jonah, of his own free will and choice decided to preach to Nineveh. That was Jonah’s simple situation.

The story of Laman and Lemuel probably offers the most examples of simple situations. They were called to repentance multiple times. While most people remember that they always returned to complaining, it must be remembered that they repented every time they were in a simple situation. Let us run through some examples from their story. The first rebellion came in 1Nephi 2. Lehi leaves Jerusalem and Laman and Lemuel murmur. In verse 14 we read “[Lehi] did speak unto them [Laman and Lemuel] in the valley of Lemuel, with power, being filled with the Sprit, until their fames did shake before him. And he did confound them, that they durst not utter against him; wherefore, they did as he commanded them.” So here the first time they repent, they turn from their current course. All it took for them was preaching by the power of the Spirit, which is something we all can do.

The second time is after a few failed attempts at getting the plates. Laman and Lemuel start to beat Nephi and Sam. Here the Lord put them in a simple situation by sending an angel. The angel rebuked them, told them to stop and return to Jerusalem. Laman and Lemuel did stop beating their brothers, and did return to Jerusalem. Their faith in the Lord is questionable, but they did make the correct decision when faced with a simple situation (1Nephi 3:28-30). The third rebellion is when the sons of Lehi return to enlist Ishmael and his family with them. On their return to Lehi who is still in the wilderness, Laman and Lemuel are again angry with Nephi and try to kill him by tying him up and leaving him in the wilderness. Nephi, by the power of faith, is released from the bands; however his brothers still want to kill him. This time the simple situation comes by the pleading of one of the daughters of Ishmael, Ishmael’s wife, and one of the sons of Ishmael. Their pleadings “[softened] their hearts; and they did cease striving to take away my life.” Laman and Lemuel were so moved that they “[bowed] down before [Nephi], and did plead with [him] that [he] would forgive them”; which he did. Laman and Lemuel finished their repentance by praying to the Lord for forgiveness. This time their simple situation came by the pleading of friends who reached their hearts and changed their course (1 Nephi 7:16-21). Again they repented because of preaching by the Spirit (1Nephi 15:1-5). Laman and Lemuel again had a change of heart and decided to correct their course after hearing the voice of God (1Nephi 16:36-39).

Another simple situation occurred as Nephi was commanded to build a ship and they mocked him. After Nephi preached to them they wanted to kill Nephi. This time the power of the Spirit of God was with Nephi so much that they could feel it, became scared for their lives, and decided not to mess with their brother. Either attempt to kill Nephi and “whither even as a dried reed” or leave Nephi alone and live. The choice became very simple for them and they chose to repent (1Nephi 17:48-55). And lastly, they rebeled while on the ship headed to the Promised Land. Members of the ship began to forget the Lord, and Nephi feared they would be punished, so he preached to them. Laman and Lemuel did not like this and tied Nephi up, then beat him again. As a result they lost their way and storms came against them for four days. During this time many attempts were made to soften the hearts of Laman and Lemuel to let Nephi go. Lehi tried to speak with them; the sons of Ishmael even tried to change their minds. Their mother had no effect either. Nephi’s wife and children literally cried before them to let Nephi go. All of this “did not soften the hearts of my brethren that they would loose me”, Nephi records (1Nephi 18:17-19). Laman and Lemuel had hardened their hearts and were determined not to let Nephi go free.

No one knew what to do, however the Lord did. The Lord knew exactly which simple situation they needed to face in order to make the right choice, repent, and change their course of action; a storm. Verse 20 tells us “And there was nothing save it were the power of God, which threatened them with destruction, could soften their hearts; wherefore, when they saw that they were about to be swallowed up in the depths of the sea they repented of the thing which they had done.” They had a simple situation before them; let Nephi go or die in the sea, the choice is yours. Laman and Lemuel did let Nephi go and repented. The Lord knew which simple situation to use (1Nephi 18:9-22). The stories of Laman and Lemuel also highlight the continuous mercy of the Lord in always wanting those who are lost to return. The Lord wanted Laman and Lemuel eating the fruit of the tree of life just as much as He wanted Nephi and Sam to eat the fruit. “But as oft as they repented and sought forgiveness, with real intent, they were forgiven” (Moroni 6:8).

The actual story of the prodigal son reveals the same thing. Here the son is faced with a simple situation. Luke 15:13-17 recounts that after he spent his time in “riotous living” he spent all he had. Afterwards there was a famine in the land and he “began to be in want.” His days of fun were over. He started to work for a man and fed pigs. He felt his situation was so bad that he envied the pigs that had husks to eat. The position of the pig appeared better than his. In this moment “he came to himself”, or had a wakeup call, and remembered that his father’s servants were always well fed and had “bread enough and to spare.” Here is his simple situation: I can sit here and starve and be jealous of pigs or I can go home to my father and have plenty to eat; even as a servant, which is what I’m doing here. The choice all of a sudden became simple for him. The thought of going home seemed much more appealing. The prodigal son found himself in a simple situation; the right choice became obvious.

The first thing we can do to return the prodigal son is pray with faith. Our faith is strengthened when we understand how the Lord works and can therefore pray for the right things: that the prodigal son will be brought to the truth and that this choice will be very simple for him to make. The second thing we must do to help the prodigal son is to make sure he knows where to go once he is faced with a simple situation.

We need to make sure that the prodigal son knows where to go when he feels stuck. “And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins” (2Nephi 25:26). While the prodigal son may not intently listen to our teachings and testimonies at the time, we can be faithful in the promises of God that He will send angels to prepare the hearts of His lost children to accept repentance (Alma 13:21-24) and that in a time of crisis the Holy Spirit of God will “bring all things to… remembrance” (John 14:26). This means that the Lord is full time at work trying to change hearts. However, the Spirit can’t bring to remembrance something one never knew; we need to teach the prodigal son so that the Spirit can do His work. Notice how in the following stories the prodigal son knew where he could turn for help.

Alma the younger gives this crucial clue in his recounting of his story to his son Helaman: “And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world. Now, as my mind caught hold upon this though I cried within my heart” (Alma 36:17-18). Alma is trapped in his own mind and was “being tormented with the pains of hell” (Alma 36:13). He would have forever remained in a condition like this if he could not be saved by Christ, he would have to carry his guilt with him. However, while in the middle of this experience, after a few days, he remembered something that his father had said. He remembered his father teaching and testifying of where a broken soul could turn to: Jesus Christ. This gave Alma hope and he decided it was worth the try. Had Alma the elder not bore his testimony to his son Alma, who knows how long it would have taken Alma the younger to turn to Christ. The testimony of Alma the elder had seemingly no effect on Alma the younger while he was out rebelling with the sons of Mosiah. Surely his father’s testimony appeared to go in one ear and out the other. However, the Spirit brought a memory of Alma the elder’s testimony so that Alma the younger could know where to turn for help. This information is vital for the prodigal son, or else he might find his situation hopeless when faced with a simple situation.

Enos’ story is an excellent example of this as well. Enos 1:2 reads: “And I will tell you of the wrestle which I had before God, before I received a remission of my sins.” The word “wrestle” here denotes that Enos had a difficult time in submitting his will to the will of God. While it is unknown of his spiritual condition before this wrestle, we can conclude that in either a major or minor way Enos needed to have a change of heart. Verse 3: “Behold, I went to hunt beasts in the forests; and the words which I had often heard my father speak concerning eternal life, and the joy of the saints, sunk deep into my heart.” Enos began to reflect on the words that he heard his father speak. Enos even says that his father spoke them “often”. So while Jacob may have testified mightily of Jesus as the source of all goodness and where we should turn when in trouble, Enos, who heard these words, did not let them sink into his heart until now. Had Jacob not testified so often, then the Spirit could not have brought them to Enos’ remembrance at this crucial time when he was prepared to hear the voice of the Lord and accept His will. Verse 4: “And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul.” Enos says that his soul is hungry. Hunger happens when our body recognizes that we are missing something; food. In this case Enos’ soul realized that it is missed something; this is the simple situation for Enos – stay hungry or be filled. Enos realized that he is living without, and because the words of his father he knew what to do. He began to engage in mighty prayer with his Father in Heaven. After that we know that the Lord heard him and blessed him, as He does all His children who earnestly seek Him.

It is worth mentioning but not going into elaborate detail that Laman and Lemuel were also taught where to turn when they repented. Sometimes when faced with one of their many simple situations they prayed for forgiveness from the Lord. For example see (1Nephi 7:20-21).

The story of the actual prodigal son shows the same things. After the young man “came to himself” he realized that he could return to be a servant for his father. He knew that his father would take him back, maybe not as his son, but as a servant for sure (Luke 15:17-19). The son knew where to turn while in his troubles. That the prodigal son turns to his father is symbolic of turning back to our Heavenly Father, but it is also literal in the sense that the son knew he could turn back to the loved one he left. This in turn means for us that when our prodigal son leaves, we must make sure that they know that they can turn to God, and that they can also return to us.

The father in the story of the prodigal son does exactly the right thing and gives us an example of how to react to the return of our prodigal son. The scripture states that “when he [the prodigal son] was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him” (Luke 15:20). There is no mention of a prideful attitude of “see I told you so”, no mention of boasting “don’t you hate it when I’m right”, no condescension of “if you would have only listened to me sooner this would never have happened”. The father decides to help his son home as soon as he could see that his son had decided to come home. The father did not wait for his son to get all the way home all by himself, nor did he take his time to help his son. The scripture says that he “ran” to him (v. 20). The father helped his son as quickly as he could, as soon as he could.

Obviously this is symbolic of how our Heavenly Father accepts us and guides us on the path home instead of waiting for us to do it on our own. We also need to lay down our pride and react with full compassion and thankfulness that our lost son is now coming home. Later in the story the father throws a splendid party and rejoices greatly because “my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found” (Luke 15:24). When we realize the miracle it is for someone to repent and return in humility we can have the same level of gratitude.

Nephi “frankly forgave” his brothers after they tried to kill him (1Nephi 7:21). Alma the elder “rejoiced” when he learned what happened to his son because he knew that “it was the power of God” (Mosiah 27:20). In these stories we learn that we should forgive the past and rejoice that we have a new future with our once lost loved one. There is no need or mention of boasting when the one who lost a loved one learns that they are returning. Likewise we need to recognize that we are “all beggars… [who] depend on the same Being, even God” (Mosiah 4:19), and that we are forgiven as quickly as we are quick to forgive others (Matthew 6:12). Let us accept the prodigal son as God would, and as He would want us to.

Unfortunately, there will always be some who choose to use their agency to live outside the gospel and away from us spiritually. This will always be a cause for sorrow. However, there are things we can do to win back the prodigal son without removing his agency. We can pray with great faith that God will prepare his heart to make the right choice and if needs be, place him in a situation that will help him realize his state. Simple situations come in all forms; they are unique to the individual in question. God knows each of his children well enough to know which situations will help their decision making. We can be absolutely confident that God has a plan ready to win back their soul. Additionally, we need to make sure that the prodigal son knows where to turn when he finds himself stuck. This knowledge is twofold. The prodigal son needs to know that he can turn to the Lord and/or that he can always return to us; and that we will receive him with open arms without judgement or reproach. These two things are within our control. I know that the Lord knows how to reach His children. He has spoken to me in the most personal of ways, brought me into situations knowing how to win my soul and kept my soul safe in His care. This makes me a living witness of the personal care the Lord will give to each of us, and I can testify without hesitation that regardless of how far the prodigal son has walked away, the Lord knows where he is and how to get him back and that “his hand is stretched out still” (Isaiah 9:12).